Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
