Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
