I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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