I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
