Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
