Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You're so nebulous sometimes
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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