I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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