Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
