There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
