I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
