her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
