if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
