I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
