They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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