The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Randomize
