I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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