The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize