she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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