he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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