They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
