What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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