I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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