Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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