haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
