Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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