finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
