i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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