I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
