This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
