thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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