My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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