3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
