How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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