Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
