i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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