I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i think i have herpe
just one?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
