I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
