i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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