16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
