Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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