she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
