Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
