Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
