Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+27): View more from South Africa

This girl is more easily done than said...

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(573): View more from Missouri

i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru

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(440): View more from Ohio

I just did the classiest thing ever.

(216): View more from Ohio

last time you said that you got chlamydia.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"

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(765): View more from Indiana

Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.

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(214): View more from Texas

The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.

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(917): View more from New York City

After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.

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(716): View more from New York

My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.

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(928): View more from Arizona

I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.

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