Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Is it because I queefed?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
