Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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