I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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