Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
