the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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