apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
