Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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