yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
