Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
