been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
