I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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