Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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