I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
