Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
