I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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