Porn is love you can see.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
