You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize