Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So much rum. So many feels.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
