just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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