hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
