is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
