And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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