can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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