And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
third nipple confirmed
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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