There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
