I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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