i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
