She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
