sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
