rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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