PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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