i need an iv and a liver transplant
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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